The title sounds a bit heavy, but this weekend has got me thinking. It’s been a huge success but I have an uncomfortable feeling in my stomach about the shenanigans I went through to ensure its success!
I’m actually talking about a family celebration. That should be cause for great feelings, right? Well, for me, it’s been yes and no. My dad recently turned 80 (his mum is 100 later in May!), and we wanted to do something to celebrate it. But what to do? Dad isn’t one for a big fuss, but still, it’s a milestone that needs to be recognised in some way. So I booked us to stay with him over Easter and in the meantime my brother and I got together to sort something out.
Then the deception began.
I’m not the sort of person who feels ok about any kind of lying – I was useless at it when I was a child, and have never got any better!! So if I’m asked a direct question, I cannot prevaricate without it being so obvious that I’m just about to try to tell a porky! So generally I don’t even contemplate it! But you’ll know how hard it is to keep a secret about a celebration without lying on occasion. Even though I know it’s a ‘white’ lie, and that it’s not doing anyone any harm, it’s still not the truth, and I don’t feel right about it.
However, that’s not really the point, because the point is that the person you are doing it for has a wonderful surprise and is totally delighted! Happily Dad was. But the whole thing about lies is that you have to remember what you’ve said to whom and when, and that is just so difficult!! I’ve come to the conclusion that inveterate liers have marvellous memories!! And that makes it even more sad that they don’t use their marvellous memories to do something positive! Well, I suppose the results are superficially positive for them, even if everyone left in their wake is hurt!!!
Well, we’re back home now and Dad is very happy and delighted with some marvellous memories of his own to look back on and his wonderment that we all managed to keep all hint of the events from his knowledge. As for me, I’m just glad not to have to pretend and make up stories any more!!!